So sorry to hear about your loss. Trust me I know the pain you feel and so do others here, but trust me when I say this things do get better.
I have posted parts of "Wisdom" to many times in the past but as long as there is need for it I will cotinue to do so.
Wisdom
God didn't promise days without pain, Laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards. Don't stay on the humps to long. Move on!
When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God is thinking of something better to give you.
When something happens to you, good or bad, consider what it means. There's a purpose to life's events, to teach you how to laugh more or not to cry too hard.
My prayers are with you.
Take Care & God Bless