By Phil R. Elliott
I have to blame my pal Cole Coonce for a lot of recent hours gone. But I’m not too upset. Just about the time I completed Top Fuel Wormhole, Volume 1, guess what arrived in my mailbox? Yup, Top Fuel Wormhole, Volume 2.
Like the first, part two of Top Fuel Wormhole is a compilation of Cole’s tales-of-the-dragstrip, and a variety of stories from elsewhere thrown in for good measure. This time, they were originally published in Super Stock & Drag Illustrated, Drag Racing Monthly, National Dragster, Wired and maybe a couple other spots Cole failed to reveal.
As I’ve overstated before, I like Coonce’s writing style. OK, I really like it. Often, his experiences can be described as eclectic, and his descriptions of each of those can come like big winds sweeping out of mountain canyons – or maybe just out of left field.
I’ll bet there are a few of you that would even say that some of his stories are just plain weird. I get that, but I’d disagree; they are fun, vocab and definition enhancing prose that hedge on brilliance. Don’t tell him I said that – I’d deny it with one of those smiley-face doodads attached.
I think that everyone that was originally a child will get a kick out of Cole’s opening story about his indoctrination to dragracing, and of course the great remembrance of the Snake/Mongoose Hot Wheels. This one includes some real inside info of the sponsorship deal and the serious indoctrination to marketing, something neither Don Prudhomme nor Tom McEwen cared much about before this major course change in their lives.
There are Don Garlits and Chris Karamesines stories, a superbly way-out interview with Roland Leong, and then came one of those “left field” chapters.
It was about racing-related movies, and a challenge to a group of invitees revved-up on high-octane coffee sitting through a weekend marathon of what few back-row movie reviewers would classify as high as B-movies in any rating systems. Cole originally let this un-reel in a two-parter in SS&DI.
Over two long days, this group was overly saturated with Bikini Beach, Hot Rod Girl, Funny Car Summer, Hot Rod Action, American Nitro, Two Lane Blacktop, Heart Like a Wheel, Ghost of Drag Strip Hollow and a couple other sketchy Hollyweird items.
The dialogue in this section is priceless, especially when Coonce’s buddy we get to know as “Zuke,” and who is described as a “failed screenwriter,” gets wound up. As an example, after watching Bikini Beach, which by the way is a must see for any old-timey dragrace-lover because of its wonderful stock footage from Pomona and other SoCal strips, Zuke tries to analyze the deep-seeded meanings the team of writer-director-producer might have had. He is certain that the SoCal scene, with bikinis, dragracing, drive-ins, is not a memory at all, that it is a mirage and never existed the way we all think it did.
He pulls this same deep-think philosophical illogic in other places too, and it ends up being an hilarious episode.
After that one, there is a more scientific article about aerodynamics as how it pertains to the mechanically accelerating mayhem of we think we know. It is truly well done with experts in the field, and genius crewchiefs weighing in on theory and practice.
Then comes one from deep in Cole’s gray matter; imagination at its best – a chapter titled “The Warp Seven Interceptor.” It contains impenetrable Area 51 conspiracy intertwined with esoteric plausible brilliance. There are a dozen places where I had to convince myself – “hey, this could be real, nah, can’t be, but wait…!” It’s a great piece, worthy of being placed in any library, right between Jules Verne’s Journey to the Center of the Earth and Douglas Adams’ The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
I really liked the chapter on the time Cole spent with FC
owner-operator Dean Skuza, who has a rather different perspective on the state of dragracing than I do. But, his logic is from the perspective of an owner/driver and is a realistic, matter-of-fact point of view, so rare in a “sport” so drenched in opinions as to how to bring this hurtling, out-of-control entertainment venue back in line.
In other places, Top Fuel Wormhole, Volume 2, and if you didn’t know already, you’ll discover what real down-in-the-trenches racers actually do and eat on those marathon cross-country pulls to previously unknown strips of asphalt. I’m not speaking of bucks-up, heavily sponsored Pros with mapped out itineraries and plush destination motels at the end of their days. Instead, these are the guys like you and I, barely getting there with our patched up, rusted out tow-trucks, sleeping on floors and sharing towels when available, and eating mayonnaise and white bread sandwiches until we get there. Yes, it is still being done that way.
Coonce’s parables will always give an afternoon and an evening of sheer enjoyment, something that doesn’t come for this bargain price all that often. Grab a copy and read it soon.
Copies of the 256-page illustrated Top Fuel Wormhole (Parts 1 and 2) are available in a variety of places; start with Amazon or
http://www.ghostracksusa.com
