Posted: Thu Dec 25, 2008 5:14 pm
I'm gonna try this ONE more time....the first time I tried....I hit the wrong button and lost everything
Alright, so everyone knows I had some "issues" with my distributor (my heart).
The nurses stripped me down to my birthday suit and covered me up with one of those dad-gum backless hospital gowns. After they placed some pill-formed horsepower (nitro) under my tongue, I started to feel quite a bit better. I was still pretty scared about the whole deal, however, and my lack of anti-offend juice under my pits was letting Everyone know that indeed, the smell of fear is a tangible thing.
As they were hooking all these different sensors up to my chest and legs, in comes an ambulance crew to transport me to another hospital about 20 miles away, because the community ER where I had driven myself doesn't have cardiac equipment. Sooooo....off I am wheeled for the quick trip east. They had placed all my belongings in a plastic bag and set it on my lap( I was in a semi reclining position) I looked into the bag, and there peeking out from under my wrinkled jacket, was my ball cap, a brand new, fitted, Ford logo cap, given to me just days before by a friend of mine.
I looked over at the young lady EMT and ask if I would be violating any rules of patient conduct if I employed said hat to aid in hiding a really bad hair morning. She said "what ever you want to do is fine".....and I replied, after placing the hat on over my out of whack wig..."Thanks... a guy has to have Some kind of hat hair modesty".....She cracked up!! The driver shouted, "What's wrong!!??" and she laughingly replied, "Just Billy Mac being Billy Mac". (They ALL know me from me hanging out with their director shooting the breeze nearly every morning.)
We get to the ER entrance at the other hospital and they wheel me right in the door, down a couple of different halls and right into the catherization room where there is already a team of doctors, nurses and technitions setting things up. All that went fairly smoothly, as I was making comical remarks throughout. Towards the end of the procedure the doctor glanced over at me and mentioned that that was a first for he and his staff...a heart catherization while the patient wore a ball cap. Leave it to me, huh??
Once in my room in the CCU, other nurses were poking needles in my arms, hooking up i.v's and taking my temperature, which in itself is not noteworthy except for the fact that I would hum the theme from Jeopardy every time they stuck that probe under my tongue; I pretty much kept the nurses in stiches the whole time I was there.
Several things that I learned while incarerated in the hospital....1) I don't like hospitals 2) I don't like hospital beds that "move" every so often (I was told that is to help avoid bed sores) they kept me from getting any real rest while there 3) Hospital food ain't fit for a dog (except the peach cobler;yum yum!) and 4) Nurses are pretty cool.
With respects to Rapid Randy, I won't label this as a "What I did Last Weekend" story, but I WILL say its something I don't care to repeat anytime soon. If things stay as they are, (I feel quite spiffy for now) I hope to avoid any additional submissions to this particular thread....unless its test and tune info....but then again....THAT would be in the Rides section.......Y'all have a very Merry Christmas and an even happier New Year!!!!
Thank You Vets!!!
In GOD We Trust!!
One Nation Under GOD!!!!
Alright, so everyone knows I had some "issues" with my distributor (my heart).
The nurses stripped me down to my birthday suit and covered me up with one of those dad-gum backless hospital gowns. After they placed some pill-formed horsepower (nitro) under my tongue, I started to feel quite a bit better. I was still pretty scared about the whole deal, however, and my lack of anti-offend juice under my pits was letting Everyone know that indeed, the smell of fear is a tangible thing.
As they were hooking all these different sensors up to my chest and legs, in comes an ambulance crew to transport me to another hospital about 20 miles away, because the community ER where I had driven myself doesn't have cardiac equipment. Sooooo....off I am wheeled for the quick trip east. They had placed all my belongings in a plastic bag and set it on my lap( I was in a semi reclining position) I looked into the bag, and there peeking out from under my wrinkled jacket, was my ball cap, a brand new, fitted, Ford logo cap, given to me just days before by a friend of mine.
I looked over at the young lady EMT and ask if I would be violating any rules of patient conduct if I employed said hat to aid in hiding a really bad hair morning. She said "what ever you want to do is fine".....and I replied, after placing the hat on over my out of whack wig..."Thanks... a guy has to have Some kind of hat hair modesty".....She cracked up!! The driver shouted, "What's wrong!!??" and she laughingly replied, "Just Billy Mac being Billy Mac". (They ALL know me from me hanging out with their director shooting the breeze nearly every morning.)
We get to the ER entrance at the other hospital and they wheel me right in the door, down a couple of different halls and right into the catherization room where there is already a team of doctors, nurses and technitions setting things up. All that went fairly smoothly, as I was making comical remarks throughout. Towards the end of the procedure the doctor glanced over at me and mentioned that that was a first for he and his staff...a heart catherization while the patient wore a ball cap. Leave it to me, huh??
Once in my room in the CCU, other nurses were poking needles in my arms, hooking up i.v's and taking my temperature, which in itself is not noteworthy except for the fact that I would hum the theme from Jeopardy every time they stuck that probe under my tongue; I pretty much kept the nurses in stiches the whole time I was there.
Several things that I learned while incarerated in the hospital....1) I don't like hospitals 2) I don't like hospital beds that "move" every so often (I was told that is to help avoid bed sores) they kept me from getting any real rest while there 3) Hospital food ain't fit for a dog (except the peach cobler;yum yum!) and 4) Nurses are pretty cool.
With respects to Rapid Randy, I won't label this as a "What I did Last Weekend" story, but I WILL say its something I don't care to repeat anytime soon. If things stay as they are, (I feel quite spiffy for now) I hope to avoid any additional submissions to this particular thread....unless its test and tune info....but then again....THAT would be in the Rides section.......Y'all have a very Merry Christmas and an even happier New Year!!!!
Thank You Vets!!!
In GOD We Trust!!
One Nation Under GOD!!!!
.....
