Over the Hills... and Far Away

© 2006 Bill Ott

** Many dreams come true and some have silver linings**

I (for one) can’t wait to find out how Part 2 of this novelette about our epic Easter Weekend Pilgrimage to Speedworld in Phoenix looks when it’s finished. You know, probably the worst thing that could happen to one who attempts to sit in front of a keyboard and type out a few sentences and syllables is to find themselves at a loss for words. But here I sit, at two in the morning, out of things to say, and even worse yet... out of Tequila!

Someone once told me (with breaking into laughter) "If you can’t figure out how to start a story... jump to the end and write it backwards" So... what the hell... let’s give that a try.

retaL .S.B dlO eroM

Naa!! I can see right now this isn’t gonna work. But maybe I took them way too literally. Perhaps they meant... start at the ending... as opposed to... end at the beginning. Or Begin the Beguine... as opposed to Stop In The Name Of Love. Or Guy Lombardo and his Royal Canadians vs. Diana Ross and her Supremes... a true ‘Battle Of The Bands’ in every sense of the word. General Sherman sure knew what he was talking about (1)... as opposed to me.

But I’m sure you don’t want to hear any more of that. So... let’s jump right to the ending.

As was mentioned earlier, Saturday started out just about as beautiful a day as you could ask for. The Boopster and a handful of volunteers as well as a few unfortunate passers-by who were drafted into ‘volunteering’ had set up... what we’ll call (keeping with today’s ‘war’ theme)... camp. I’d have loved to have pitched in myself... but alas... I had to wander around the grounds and ‘observe’.

Now I must have looked good and confused walking around with my clipboard tucked under my arm. Seems the folks from one of the Top Fuel teams mistook me for a Tech Inspector! Hell... there was even talk of bribery and money changing hands before I blew my cover.

At precisely 10:30 AM the silence was shattered by the sound of the first ‘Cackle’ (Is it still alright to use that word?). Jim Frye’s ‘Old Timer’ was the first to ‘break the ice’ at this affair. It drew quite a crowd of both the ‘conscripted’ NITRO junkies and curious onlookers. Not long after the ‘Old Timer’ shut down, Larry Steinegger and Al Eshenbaugh fired up the yellow S&E digger for another pyrotechnics and effluviums (hey... there’s the new word for today) presentation.

Across the way I spotted David Pace talking with Steve Barchak. Steve brought his Stirling built NITRO burning ‘Pontiac Heaven’ digger to be part of today’s show. You guessed it... it’s Pontiac powered. The discussion revolved around the difficulty of adapting the wedge head ‘Indian’ motor... with it’s ‘siamesed’ exhaust ports... to burn copious amounts of NITROmethane. Although, if you recall, the Champion Speed Shop boys did quite well on the nostalgia circuit a few years ago with their Alan Johnson ‘Chevy’ heads. Steve’s slowly sneaking up on the proper tune up but the big mystery seems to lie in the mag ‘lead’ department. Time will tell.

David just happened to bring his firesuit and gear along and before the day was through he guided the digger through three short passes. Steve was delighted to get some data as well as input from an experienced ‘shoe’. For more about some of David’s exploits check out...

http://www.draglist.com/stories/SOD-Jan-2003/SOD-011703.htm

Also seen behind the wheel of the ‘Pontiac Heaven’ car as it ‘Cackled’ was Fox Sports Network (FSN Arizona) host Wally Cahill. Wally’s ‘MotorSports Mania’ TV show can be seen on Saturday mornings on Fox Sports Network (Arizona or New Mexico) at 8:30 AM (MST). Wally was wearing one of those grins that will probably take about a week to ten days to disappear as he climbed out of the digger. Incidentally... Wally is one of the legendary ‘Flying Red necks’. Check out Wally’s way cool website at...

http://www.azmotorsportsmania.tv/

One thing I couldn’t help but notice about this place. Man, it’s really quiet here! I mean, between Cackles you could converse with the folks around you without raising your voice or missing a thing. The folks that designed this place musta really knew their stuff about acoustics. Simply amazing!

Parked across from these guys was the aptly named ‘Shakey Situation’ of Gary and Sean Dale. The still unpainted ‘69 Dodge Charger body was sitting atop one of the late Ken Cox’s chassis. Sean piloted ‘Shakey’ all the way to the finals at last weekend’s Nostalgia Funny Car Meet at Tucson. The boy’s wowed everyone a little later with a NITRO fire-up in the pits.

Nearby Wayne and Carolyn Galligan had the as of yet unfinished ‘Bud King’ Funny Car campaigned by Kenny Bernstein back in the ‘79, ‘80, and ‘81 seasons on display. The body’s was still at the paint shop but the chassis was shined up and detailed to the max. Look forward to seeing it all together someday.

Hey, think I hear some cars doing burnouts over at the starting line. Let’s wander over that way and take a look. But wait... more NITRO thunder. The Power King (there’s a name with some history) team from Tucson have fired up their world’s fastest and quickest 354" ... not 392"... cast iron Hemi powered Nostalgia T/F car. Drew a pretty big crowd in a short while they did. When all of the excitement ended I resumed my trek to the starting line.

Wow! Quite an impressive line of exhibition cars sitting in Lane 1. Wayne Ludington’s Florida based Flathead powered Dragmaster, Ron Sterbenk’s Fuel flathead, and Chuck Bayuk’s beautiful NE 1 Chrysler digger, just to name a few.

While making my way through the staging lanes and stopping to chat with some of the crewmen and drivers as they sat... I was once again impressed with just how quiet things are at this facility. You could literally hear a pin drop. Right here at the drag races!

Leaving the staging lanes and walking across the starting line I was greeted by the sight of some kind of liquid (transmission fluid) in the center of the right lane running from the starting line to well past the finish and the clean-up crew hard at work. Turned out this was just one of many such maladies that plagued track personnel all day. So much for my damn fine acoustical engineering theory. After every few pair of cars, it seemed another kind of liquid was unceremoniously dumped on the track.

This seemed like a good time to go hang with some of the trackside photographers. John O’Neill, Warren Merriman, and Mark "Sharky’ King were out there talking about whatever it is photographers talk about during times like these. Now I’ve been out here before firing away with the old camera, even traipsed around out with the guys at an NHRA National event once.

Once... the key word here, I got all the way up to a National Event Full Media Pass back in ‘04 at Reading, PA. Wound up having a run-in with some fellow from Media-Relations... over what, I never did figure out... before the race even started! Next thing I knew, calls were made to the folks who got me the pass asking them to kindly NEVER submit my name again, thank you very much.

Which leads me to believe... I don’t think I’ve got what it takes to be a trackside photographer. And I’m pretty sure I don’t wanna be one. Not that there’s anything wrong with trackside photographers, mind you. Hell... some of my best friends are shooters. I’ve even been known to invite one or two over to the house for dinner, and then let em eat off the good china!

I’m pretty sure my shortcomings as a shooter have to do with dress codes. I think they dress funny. Most of em wear shorts that are either olive drab or some other ‘earthy’ shade of something. I got bony knees... you’ll never see me in anything other than blue jeans. Tennis shoes? A must. Again... I’ve always preferred Western boots ala Merle Haggard.

Now, it doesn’t matter what kind of Tee Shirt they wear because they also have to wear those awful looking (and fitting) blue (numbered!) Photo vests issued by the NHRA. I’ll take a button down Western shirt any day. And besides, if I do wear a Tee Shirt, it’s gotta be seen, because I want it to make a statement, let others know I’ve been around. I cite my ‘Blue Moon Cruisers First Annual Cruise In at Marty’s Steak House and Drive Thru Car Wash - July 11th 1996" as an example. Don’t see many of them out here do ya? No sir! But who’s gonna even notice it behind that damn scratchy vest. And besides, you gotta wonder... who wore this vest at the last event? When was the last time it was cleaned? And exactly what are these stains on the front of it?

And then there’s those compulsory baseball caps. Doesn’t matter what they say across the front, because you gotta wear ‘em backwards. I prefer my western hat... some call it a ten-gallon hat. Ten gallons of what, I’ve always wondered? Of course, I refuse to wear it backwards!

But enough about that. While this particular cleanup was underway, some interesting cars have been moved to the burnout area. Mike and Denise Harrison brought their fine looking, as of yet unlettered red early Mustang bodied Funny Car to try to get Mike’s licensing completed. I don’t think he got anywhere near half-track before he had to shut it off. Don’t know if that was part of the plan or not. As soon as he gets licensed, the Camp Verde, AZ couple plan on competing in the California Independent Funny Car Association (aka CIFCA) the rest of the season. Good luck guys.

Also here for licensing with his Funny Car was Steve Weggeland with his black ‘Eagle View’ ??? Steve left off the line and at about sixty feet went into tire shake that gave ME a headache just watching. Then came the next calamity to catch the track folks off-balance.

Seems someone over at the Motocross track had a crash (big surprise, no?). Ordinarily... no big deal. Except today... big deal. Only one ambulance on the grounds. And the crew had to convey the unfortunate biker over to the local hospital. Guess what? All racing ceases until they return.

Time to wander the pits again, where I came across a pair of real characters pitted next to each other. Wonder if someone planed it this way?

Paula Roth brought her ‘Lil Darlin’ unblown Chevy powered FED over from Mesa, AZ. Seems our old pal ‘Flyin’ Phil Elliott put the bug in her ear about this gig, and being a fan of the Front Motor Style of diggers (man, is she!), she just had to come and check things out and maybe get in a pass or two. Paula’s been having some scary handling problems with the car so off it went to Dave Tuttle’s for some ‘tweaking’. This was her first outing since then and I’m happy to report it appeared to have the handling bugs behind it.

I had to ask her if she was related to the legendary Ed ‘Big Daddy’ Roth. "Like no." she told me, but he was the inspiration for both her strikingly different appearance and the lettering by ’Geet’ (Steve Faulkner) on the digger. Hey, check out those Tattoos. I know another Arizona lady that has an FED proudly tattooed on her. You suppose it’s the clime?

Before I move on, I want to thank John O’Neill at Graybeard Racing for the use of the images of Paula and ‘Lil Darlin’. Check out more of John’s images at

www.graybeardracing.com

Pitted right next to Paula was Phoenix resident Steve McComiskey... whom I’ve ran into before... way up North at the old Charleston Dragway Reunion and Ed Sarkisian Benefits in Seekonk, MA... back in another lifetime! Steve just recently retired and packed up moved the whole kit and caboodle out West. Sounds familiar.

Anyway, Steve campaigns the way cool ‘Los Coches’ B/Altered T-bucket roadster that has ‘the look’ of competition cars from days gone by. Then throw in the low ridin’ ‘62 Chevy sedan... with the pin stripes and the ‘59 Caddy tail lights that tows the ol' bucket around... plus the ‘Lil Darlin’ crew next door... and it was almost like dropping into the middle of an R. Crumb (2) cartoon! Only without the weird proportions... almost.

The ‘Los Coches’ crew consisted of Steve Kafka who also happened to apply the period correct paint to both the racer and the tow car (and that way out helmet). His work can be see below. More of his work can be found at www.kooltie.com I gotta thank all of the folks over in this corner of the Standard 1320 pit area for the good vibes.

And while we’re on the subject of R. Crumb cartoons, Standard 1320 comrade Chuck Bayuk brought the beautiful Bayuk and Jordan NE 1 dragster and made a few passes to the delight of everyone here. Anyone that sees this digger in action loves it. Personally... I think it’s ‘ol Mr. Natural himself painted on the nose that does it.

Hey! Think I hear the sounds of race cars out on the track again. Better get over there quick... you never know. But this time I decided to stay on this side of the track and take in the action. Don’t know how many times I crossed through the burnout area, only to have the action stop and have to cross back over again. Getting too late in the day for that.

I arrived track-side just in time to watch the Patrick & Ferry ‘Power King’ Nostalgia Top Fuel Car do an impressive burnout... with an equally impressive orangish/yellow cloud following it down track. As soon as it stopped, driver Dan Rusk had it shut off and pulled over to the side of the track. How weird is this? It broke an oil line. Ya know... If it wasn’t for bad luck... the folks here at Speedworld... wouldn’t have no luck at all! The Power King seemed to be fine, except for a liberal amount of oil applied to the body (see image at top of story), no engine damage reported thanks to Dan’s quick thinking. But the track surface? Looks like the clean-up crew is back to square one... or Plan ‘B’.

This just could have been the proverbial straw that did it to the camel. I mean everyone was starting to feel sorry for... and be damn glad they weren’t part of... the cleanup crew. Too bad they weren’t getting paid by the mile like the big riggers. Matter of fact, the clean up situation had gotten so bad that I actually saw one of the promoters of this deal, out on the track... pushing a broom!

But in all seriousness, Ron worked his tail off seeing that this thing went as smooth as possible. Which of course it didn’t. Through no fault of his. I gotta tell ‘ya, Ron’s patience with everything and everyone (including yours truly) during the entire day was something to behold. Me... I’d of shot somebody!!

One thing that Ron asked me to pass along. Tee Shirts of this historic event are available for ‘practically nothing’. Twenty bucks will get you one in any size... and check this out... that includes shipping and handling. Thirty dollars gets ya two, forty for three, etc., etc., again shipping and handling included. You can contact Ron at RlMiller@cableone.net

Hey... no credit cards or Pay Pal. And oh... This is what you’ll be getting

FRONT

AND BACK

So this one’s for you Ron... a true Renaissance Man floating in a sea of Cro-Magnons.

After this major clean up finished, I’m told there was some more laps turned and some on-track ‘Cackling’ by the likes of the Frantic 4 (with a beaming Levi Hill at the helm), Mike Cook’s ‘Groundshaker’, the Shakey Situation Funny Car, and one or two others. Unfortunately, the Boopster and myself had left the track before everything wound down. TGI Friday’s was calling to us both. After all, it had been a long day.

One thing I did neglect to mention earlier... Mel Larson arrived at the track earlier in the afternoon, and he did it in style. His own private helicopter made a low level pass over the grounds before landing somewhere on the back forty. What else would you expect from the guy who built Speedworld in the first place? A lot of the locals and old timers call this place Mel Larson’s Speedworld anyway. So that’s why the current owner is kicking around the idea of changing the name to just that.

All indicators point to next year’s Standard 1320 Invitational being held right here at Speedworld again. Check back sometime down the road. Maybe we’ll find out for sure and when we do... you can count on us letting you know.

More Old B.S. Later

Forward advice, rebuttals, and death threats to...

Badco@elp.rr.com

** "Over The Hills And Far Away"
Words and Music By - J. Page, R. Plant, J.P. Jones
© 1973 Superhype Publishing, Inc. ASCAP
Performed by Led Zeppelin
From the Atlantic Records Release
"Houses Of The Holy"

1. "War Is Hell" a quote credited to General William Tecumseh Sherman (2/8/1820 - 2/14/1891), but in actuality the quote was "There is many a boy here today who looks on war as all glory, but boys, it is all Hell.” General Sherman said those words as part of an address to the 1879 graduating class at the Michigan Military Academy. General Sherman is considered the first ‘Modern General’.

2. R. Crumb - A cartoonist who’s work came to epitomize the ‘Psychedelic’ or ‘Hippie’ era. Also credited with starting the ‘Underground Comic’. Some of his more famous characters were Mr. Natural, the ‘Keep On Truckin’ man, Fritz the cat, and Devil Girl. Perhaps he is most known for the cover art he created for Big Brother And The Holding Company’s (featuring Janis) album ‘Cheap Thrills’.

The usual word of thanks to all who helped with the Invitational and with this story. It’s getting late... if you’re not mentioned here and you feel that you should have been... I apologize.

THANKS BUD