The Graduate '04

� 2004 Bill Ott

"I got a hot rod Ford, with dual exhaust
A four barrel carb, I can�t get lost
I put it in low, push the clutch in twice
And hear the crowd holler, then man,
�I�M ALIVE!�*

Don�t forget to push the clutch in twice? Well, the way I hear it, there�s a lot more to it than that. I mean, you got your ignition, your fuel shutoff, your slider clutch, your two-speed transmission, and maybe some lean out buttons. And then, don�t forget you gotta put this damn thing in forward after backing up from the burnout. Yep, got a whole lotta stuff to keep up with in one of these beasties! In fact, it can get downright confusing, what with your noisy motor, your noisy crowd, a light or two on the abbreviated dashboard, your Christmas Tree, your occasional photographer, flashbulbs, flashing lights, orange lights, green lights, the dreaded RED light. Help!!!

But now Joe, he had a system. Yes sir, he did. He�d just jot it all down on the sleeve of his fire suit, kinda like a grocery list. Worked like a charm too. As Joe was approaching the starting line, he�d raise his arm triumphantly in the air, fist clenched tightly in what was seemingly the latest militant salute of the day, and all assumed it was just another thumb of the nose to the "Establishment." Right? So who would have guessed he was just going over the checklist one more time? But Joe�s system worked.

Matter of fact, the photo above was taken at the very time that Joe was making his licensing pass to upgrade to Funny Car. All must have gone pretty well too. In just a matter seconds after this photo was taken, Joe had his license signed off, by Ed �The Ace" McCulloch no less.

But Joe didn�t have much time to get comfortable with this particular Funny Car. Just a few days after this licensing pass Joe and partner Bitty Winward secured it in its trailer and left it parked in owner Norman Taylor�s driveway. Then along came some crazed arsonist who burned the whole damn thing to the ground. Trailer and all!

Oh, up until its untimely demise, before it became known as the "Brief Encounter," the Mustang was formerly campaigned out of Providence, R.I. (Rhode Island, kids). It was piloted by the late Bill Lawton and sponsored by Tasca Ford, or "TASKER Ford," as the Rhode Islanders say.

But moving right along, let�s get back to licensing passes. And I mean we�re gonna move along too. All the way up to Wed. March 11, 2004. Doug Foley�s Drag Racing School is holding classes at Moroso Motorsports Park in West Palm Beach, Florida and our buddy Joe is one of five students in the Super Comp Dragster Course this week.

Now the last time Joe sat in a race car was w-a-y back in 1977 and some things have changed since then. There�s a whole lot of things missing in these new race cars. No more clutch pedal, lean out button, or feathering the throttle during the burnout, just to name a few. But, there are a few more bells and whistles and procedures that have been added over the last twenty eight years. Most of them are mounted right there on the dashboard with their own lights and safety switches, where they can�t be overlooked.

And he didn�t overlook a single one this morning on the first burnout "squirt" in Gary Trumble�s dragster. As he was backing up Joe could tell that this was "right" and the rest of this course was gonna be fun. Sometimes you just know these things. Of course, John DeBartolomeo�s watching to make sure all of the proper "steps" were completed before he came to the line gave Joe an added feeling of confidence. Later in the day came the 60 foot and 330 foot passes. Yes sir, just like riding a bike Joe thought. Tomorrow�s half track, 1000 foot, and full pass are gonna be a blast!

And they were. Half track was cool. Thousand foot, even cooler, although he may have left his foot in it just a little past the 1000 foot cones, ran an almost perfect 8.90 on an early shutoff pass. I did say "a little" past those cones.

But this last pass, now THIS is the one he was really ready for. Let�s see, burnout, stage, orange bulbs, green bulbs, GO!! Again, smoother than a baby�s butt. Although the Big Chevy engine was against the Rev-limiter before the traps Joe still squeezed out an 8.23 @ 160 MPH! Not too bad for the first ride in more than a few years. After the celebrating and congratulating ended, its official, Joe�s gonna get himself a genuine NHRA Super Comp license!! �Now, just what to hell is Joe doing at a Drag Racing School getting an 8.90 license anyway�� you ask? Well, dig this.

A few years ago, Bob Rosetty found a ��73 Plymouth Barracuda Funny Car in need of restoration. As the project was moving along, it was starting to look like the old ��Cuda just might be the former �Rollin� Stoned" Funny campaigned by none other than Joe Jacono. After some prompting and arm twisting Joe agreed to step in and help Bob with researching the car. Sure enough, it WAS Joe�s old car. In no time at all Bob had the project finished and for the past two seasons, he�s toured it on the Nostalgia circuit.

At a few of the events where the car has appeared, ol' Joe himself has shown up to hang out with Bob and crew and generally get in their way. Bob decided this guy �needs something to do�� so it was determined that if Joe could get licensed to drive it, Bob would put him back behind the wheel of it. And what to hell, that�s where he belongs anyway.

Joe (L) takes time to pose for a photo with Tom Parnaby while the crew works feverishly on the car

So anyway, now you know, probably the next time you see the �Rollin� Stoned�� ��Cuda at a track near you, Mr. Joe Jacono hisself might well be the wheel man. And hey, if you can get up close enough to take a look, see if Joe�s got anything jotted down on the sleeve of his fire suit. It might be something interesting. More old B.S. later.

Badco

* @ 1956 �Draggin�
Written and performed by Curtis Gordon
From the Mercury Records single of the same title
Lyrics and Poster Courtesy of www.rockabilly.nl

Thanks to Joe Jacono, Jerry Gross, and Jeff Thomas for their help with this thing.
Thanks also to Soaps by Betty at www.angelfire.com/wizard/soapsbybetty for their continued support. Also, visit www.joejacono.com for more info, updates, and appearance schedule.

MEMBER

Thanks Bud.