The Night Shift

[WildcatOne]

I decided to call my Dad today. He was cool with me not coming down. I started out asking him what's the latest on the wreck. He divulged more information than he did to me the first two times I talked to him about it. The State Trooper was taken to the hospital. There is no word yet to him that he told me whether or not she was actually injured, but it is standard procedure to take a State Trooper to the hospital if they are in a wreck. He was given a ticket for running a stop sign. He said he didn't run the stop sign, he just took off from it and hit the cop. The car is in the shop and it's going to cost $4,000 to get it fixed out of his pocket and he's going to pay it. His court date is in September. His insurance company will let him know next week if they're going to drop him or quadruple the rates. I cut in on him right there. I told him everything I had planned and about a dozen more things. He agreed with all of it. He did not argue with any of what I said. I was shaking and I cried. I had to make the point to him that he has to stop driving, not tomorrow. Right NOW. Forever. There are shuttle services he could use that would cost less than his insurance premium. I told him to give the car to Sylvia last month. Three strikes. What does that mean? Play the game. If ever God stepped in and gave you a break, that was it. If you drive again, He ain't gonna help you. If I was a judge, and you came into my courtroom, and I looked at you and I looked at your driving record, I would revoke your license right there. Those are a few of the things I said. He completely agreed and said he will not get the Focus fixed and will sell it for scrap and not replace it. He said it's the hardest thing he's ever had to do. I said harder than when Mom died? You almost died, too. Then Muriel came into your life, and she saved your life and you're still here to enjoy it. Are you going to end all that, are you going to risk her life, yours and everybody else's by spending all that money to get the car fixed and get back in it and drive it again? You have to step back and look at the big picture here, Dad, and you're not doing that. Please. If I ever in my life had to make a statement to you, this is it. Stop driving. Make the change and you'll be glad you did. If you don't, you will be sorry. VERY sorry. He thanked me for the call. He said he's "going to quit driving" and that I gave him "some good advice". What that means is that he'll quit driving after he wrecks the Buick unless he decides to go ahead and get the Focus fixed and wrecks it again or until the judge takes away his driver's license or his insurance company drops him. He's on his own from here on. I said what I had to say to him and I said it straight, man-to-man. Like I say, he didn't argue and he didn't disagree, he just said it's a hard thing to do, but I told him it's a selfish and foolish thing to keep going after all this. He agreed with that, too. I'm going to have to check on him every day now. I can't just call him up and tell him all that and then walk away. I have to stay close and keep after him to get rid of his cars. This was just the first step. Thanks for the encouragement. I got shook up, but I told him everything he needed to hear. Cheers, WC1

[jim sanders]

well done WC.. sounds like you got in his head... good luck going foward

[Gator]

Role Reversal is brutal John.
I envy you having your dad.

BTW/He feels your love.

[Rapid Randy Baker]

WC, I just got caught up on this thread. Tough call, but you did the right thing. I knew from the Get Go, you would have to have this talk, and you would say the right things to get thru to your dad. Nice Work, but sorry you had to go thru it.

Rapid

[draglist]

Good job, John. I'm relieved that he took it the right way. I only hope, as you do, that he follows through. bp

[pro70z28]

You did good WC.

[WildcatOne]

Thanks, guys. I had a very tough few minutes with my Dad, but he did not offer any resistance. He's always been "up there" talking down to me, and for me to get the upper hand with him is something that has really never happened. This time I jumped up and took him completely by surprise. I thought about this a lot after I had the conversation with him...he has no clue what to do if he doesn't drive anymore...so I'm going to call him today and ask him to let me help get him and Muriel set up to get "Meals on Wheels", which is a food service that delivers meals to the house, and to sign up with a shuttle service or some kind of transportation system that caters to the elderly. I can't help but think he's "going to" (as he put it) give up driving, but he won't yet because he's not ready to let go of the privilege until he is forced to. I'm going to have to stay with this and not let up, because he will keep doing it as long as I leave him alone or until he wrecks the Buick. One thing I did tell him was that I swore to God that from that day forward, if ever anything were to happen to where I was not able to properly handle an automobile, that I would voluntarily quit driving for the rest of my life. That had an impact on him, but I know him well enough to know that he is not going to just up-and quit driving because I told him to. He has to learn everything the hard way, and if he isn't given a reasonable (to him) alternative, he'll just quietly get in the Buick and take off. At least I got inside his head with this and he listened to me. Thanks for the words of encouragement. He is a very tough guy and has never been easy to level with. I agree, though, he did feel my love. Cheers, WC1

[WildcatOne]

I called my Dad today, to see if (1) he is still speaking to me, (2) if he is still driving and (3) to offer alternatives. He told me right off the top that today he got rid of the Focus. Sold it for scrap. He also took his name off of the car insurance policy. He quit driving. He said the advice I gave him was the best advice he'd ever gotten, and he thanked me. He asked me if I knew of some places he could check in with for transportation and meals, etc. I had a list ready. He couldn't write the numbers because his hands shake so bad, so he asked me to mail it to him and I will have it in the mail tomorrow. He's going to be OK, thank God. WC1

[Rapid Randy Baker]

Alright WC,,,,Nice work proud of you!

[Mike-Casella]

What a great feeling you must have.