The Night Shift

[jim sanders]

did you make it to the track WC ?

[WildcatOne]

Howdy, Doc...got a few minutes? Here's what happened. Yesterday was a Day from Hell. On the way to work yesterday morning, Ludwig up and died on me in heavy traffic. I think he might have run out of gas...the gauge showed I had a little bit of motion lotion in there, but when you step on the brakes, it goes below empty, know what I'm saying? Anyway, I had to push the van through an intersection, up a driveway and arm-wrestle the unpowered power steering to turn towards a gas pump at a Citgo station that was about 150 feet from where the engine died. After waiting out a guy with an SUV who took his sweet time to get himself ready for the upcoming day before he casually climbed back in, opened his Twix bar, turned on the radio, popped the top on his energy drink, picked up his cell phone, adjusted his mirrors, seat belt, notebook, undid the emergency brake, tested his brakes, engine (revved it up once), looked all the way around 3 times, checked his hairdo out in the rear-view and rolled forward one inch every 10 seconds for two full mintues before creeping out of the space, I twisted the wheel around and pushed the dead van up to the pump. I got the hose out of the thingie and stuck it into the whatchamacallit and went inside to get liquid as I was panting and sweating and hurting all over. I felt like an Egyptian laborer who was pushing a giant stone over logs to set in place on Pharoah's tomb..."Water...Woman, give me water...I thirst..." not.) so I get to the window with a bottle of Gatorade and the clerk starts in on me: "You putta hose in gas tank with no pay! Make my computer go beep! You NEVER do that again! You messup my system! You no f$%k with pump! You NEVER do that again!" I said "Excuse me, sir, but my van ran out of gas up the street and I just pushed it there. I'll take the hose out or something, but I need to buy $20 worth of gas on that pump." I was smiling at him, gasping for breath. He goes "I told you, you no mess with gas pump! You putta hose in tank and no pay, pump will not work! You NEVER do that again! You messup my system!" I said, "I am the sorriest M%$#F*?&^R you ever saw, man. I won't do that, I just didn't know. Can I please have $20 worth of gas on that pump?" He goes "I told you. You messup my system you put hose in tank and no pay! You NEVER do that again!" I'm standing there holding the 20 dollar bill for him, smiling and gasping for breath. I said "Yes, sir. I understand now. I will reset the pump by putting the hose back before I try to pump the gas. Can I please buy $20 worth of gas on that pump?" He goes "You buy cash card! Save money. Buy 20 dollar cash card now!" I said "OK. Here's 20 dollars. Thank you..." ..."$21.73!" I said, "Well, how am I saving money here? I want 20 dollars worth of gas..." He said "Gas cheaper with cash card! You save money buy cash card! Pay me and get out!" I just paid the guy, took the card and went out to the pump. While I was putting gas in Ludwig, a guy pulled up in a Honda sedan: "Sir! Sir! Did you buy a drink in there?" I said "Yes, I did..." He says "Here it is...the clerk gave it to me when you came out here..." I went over and shook the guy's hand and thanked him and took my Gatorade and gulped it down and I thought "Why worry? The Lord looks after fools and small children. Life is good." and I jumped in Ludwig and fired him up and drove to work. Once at work, I had to sort out Mrs. Murphy's back yard, which contained a couple of tons of twisted, rusted out metal...tools with the wooden handles rotted off, wheelbarrows with the bottoms rusted out and full of holes, pressure cans with pumps still attached with holes in the sides of them, decorative garden planters entwined with vines and compeltely rusted to powder, pipes, frames, shopping carts with the wheels rusted shut that contained piles of plastic planters that crumbled in my hands when I picked them up...all had to be sorted out, separated, stacked in a way that each single item could be examined and inspected...Mrs. Murphy came out and looked at everything and ended up throwing away 6 pipes that were completely rusted through and one broken bread box. She kept everything else and told me to put it all back, only this time in an order that she will decide on next week...I got subcontracted to Mrs. Murphy for the next 2 weeks, to not only take care of the metal in her yard, but to do her entire house, which is far worse than the picture I posted Tuesday of the back room. It works out good for Randolph, who won't have to pay me for a couple of weeks, and I'll be able to fix her place up fairly well, at least enough for Randolph's crew to come in and finish up their high-end work. But at 4 O'clock, Randolph didn't show up...and I found myself being cornered by Jose and Joaquin, with whom I have been working for a couple of months without incident. "Where is Meester Arrington! Where is Checke! We get Checke at 4 every Friday! You pay now!" I said wait a minute, man. I'm a laborer here. I'm not the boss..."You get money! You pay NOW! We get Checke NOW y vaminos par la casa!..." They were not friendly. I called Ranoldph. He goes "You remember I sent them home early Monday? And you stayed and worked in my office? Well, they're suppsoed to stay and finish the sheetrocking. What are they doing?" I said "They shut down at 3:45 and cleaned up and they're standing here getting ready to kick MY ass...all of a sudden it's MY problem, man..." He goes, "...yeah, well, it ain't your problem. Go home and call me later..." I said "If I make one move towards that van, they're going to string me up over here, man. Besides, they're pissed off and I don't want to leave them here with Mrs. Murphy. She's scared of them anyway..." Rand goes "She's there? I'll be right over..." I said OK...so I told Jose and Joaquin that Randolph was coming over to get the Checke from la Senora. They had that hateful glare thing going on...I said, look, man. I ain't been paid, either. But I will let Randolph tell you about it, OK? They said "You get CHECKE NOW! We get paid y vaminos. I gotta churche tonight. You not pay, we notta do trabajo...Get CHECKE NOW!" I walked away from them and hung out on the other side of the house. They were shooting hateful looks over at me. I was thinking, all this time I've backed these guys up and look at what they're doing. So Rand shows up at 5:30 and collects the money from Mrs. Murphy and he paid me and then he took those guys out to his truck to give them a ride home...he said "Next time they pull something on you, leave. Then call me. I'll get 'em straightened out..." I said OK, but if I would have made a move to split, they looked to me like they were going to jump me...he said "No problem. They can walk home if they don't like this deal..." So I waited for them to leave and then I split. I wanted to get over to HRP but I need all of the money I made for bills here at home. I said well, I can give up drag racing for Lent; last week it was San Antone with IHRA, this week it's Houston with NHRA. I can say I gave it up for Lent and pick up some free karma credits, and help reinforce my lifelong Calvinistic guilt-trip while I'm at it, too. But I already gave up dinner for Lent. I cook dinner for everybody every night I'm home but I don't eat it. I have a bowl of cereal before bed. So the no drag racing excuse probably won't hold up very well with the Man upstairs...but I need all the help I can get. I came home filthy and exhausted, having had to negotiate a few international conflicts during the day that would have had Henry Kissinger calling for backup, and all my money goes into the bank. Ludwig died a couple of times during the day, once on the way home...I think there might have been some air in the fuel line. At least I hope it's something that simple...But it's all good. Tonight's the door-percentage gig at the place I don't like in Texas City, but it might be an adventure. Cheers, WC1

[jim sanders]

thanks for the update

[Novel-T]

Whew! now I'm out of breath.

[draglist]

You have the patience of Job, Cat. I'd have been in serious trouble twice. bp

[WildcatOne]

Just made this update. It's yours to use for whatever, BP...Cheers, WC1
http://community.webshots.com/myphotos? ... ity=kKhBOo

[draglist]

Very cool! Thanks, Cat! bp

[Billy Mac]

Needs an orange Pylon on his head, Cat ......(with Capt's Bars on it)

[WildcatOne]

Will do, Billy...last night, Shakedown played at Brittmoore's Ice House out in more or less this part of town. It was a big biker named Bear's birthday party, and for a gag gift, they gave him a can of Bear Mace. You know, it's Mace on steroids...if you get attacked by a bear, you squirt him with this stuff if you have the snap to use it before he swipes your head off or something...anyway, Bear gets it and goes, "Oh! Cool!" and he holds up the can and sprays a blast of it in the middle of the main room while the band is playing. Within 10 seconds, there is total silence and an empty bar; everybody staggered outside choking, including the band. It was a free half-hour break for everything and everybody. I'd never smelled or been hit with Mace, Tear Gas or Pepper Spray before...This stuff is odorless...you just all of a sudden start choking and burning in your sinuses and throat and eyes...then we heard gunshots around the block and they were coming from a moving location...from a car...and it got closer until the late model Mustang came roaring up the street and everybody ducked when he went careening past...then he was gone...one good thing was I got to meey Davey Crockett out in the parking lot and we hung out and had an excellent conversation, exchanged information about our lives and our careers and got to be friends. Davey rides an '85 Kawasaki chopper and he's full of information about that bike. I had more fun hanging out in the parking lot with the bikers than I did playing. Once we went back in and played again, the crowd had more of an appreciation of us as people, so we had a dancing crowd after we kicked it back up. It became a real party. We did have a lady get up in front of us and lift up her shirt, but most of 'em just wiggled around while we played. Well, off to Kemah (playing 1-5 and will miss the audiocast from Vegas and the IHRA meet but will get caught up on it when I get back around 7:30). Y'all have a great Sunday! WC1

[draglist]

You gotta be tough to be in the night life bidness in Texas... wow. bp