Cheap Thrills, Part II

© 2004 Bill Ott

*Summertime,
Child, you’re living easy.
Fish are, fish are jumping out
And the cotton, lord,
Cotton’s high, lord, it’s so so high 

Sunday

“Hey… what the hell’s that sound… and… and… where to hell am I?”

Oh yeah… now I know. It’s an alarm clock and we’re at the Red Roof Inn and it’s Sunday morning.

 “Hey!… where’s the coffee? Have we overslept? Where’s my shoes? Is it raining? What time is it? Where did I leave the keys to the van? Who says the livin‘ is easy and the cotton is high? And who the hell cares about cotton at this hour of the morning anyway? Man, I gotta find some coffee!!”

Yep… just another typical overcast North Jersey Sunday morning.

Now the guy in the motel lobby… he ain’t from around here. And… anytime the guy behind the counter has a towel wrapped around his head… you can bet the coffee’s gonna suck. So… it’s Dr. Pepper’s all around for that morning ‘pick-me-up’. And the keys to the van… found ‘em with no problem… they were in one of my shoes. But how I found them? That’s a whole ‘nuther story. And you really don’t want to hear it!

Well, it sure looks like rain. Hey… don’t you just love a story that starts off on such upbeat notes? But there’s more. The smiling guy in the black suit on the Weather Channel said that by 3 PM “the whole day will be a washout.” Great. Just what I wanted to hear before breakfast OR coffee.

Just a few minutes up Route 1 we found the Omega Diner, an oasis here on the arid sands of North Jersey. “Yeah… this is more like it.” I’m thinking to myself a short while later as the van glides along Pension Rd., Janis and the Big Brothers still oozing from the speakers. It’s amazing what a difference a little breakfast and hot coffee can make, no? *“Summertime… and the livin’ IS easy.” Hell… I could easily develop an interest in Cotton Futures now. Naaa.

Raceway Park looks a whole lot busier than it did yesterday. And we can’t help but notice even from across the track (and grandstands), there’s a whole lot more race cars here than there was when we left last evening. Cool! And getting into this place was made much less painful by the Press Credentials I was lucky enough to talk the powers that be into (or out of… depending on your perspective). So… now you know where “Cheap Thrills” comes from.

 Managed to park right near the main gate behind the pit area. That means walking back here to download photos and access the cooler ain’t gonna be too difficult. So the back packs’ all loaded up… there’s plenty of digits in the digital camera… and… I even remembered to pack a notebook and pen. Lets go!!

The “Freebies”

Heading towards our new ‘headquarters’… the Rosetty - Sgro pit areas… we (the Boopster and myself) can’t help but notice the crowd is pretty impressive for this still early hour. The area from about half track on, that was vacant yesterday, is now swarming with race cars and activity. Gotta go check it out. We addressed a few of the Funny Cars that are here in Saturday’s review… we’ll check out some of the other entries now.

The first car to catch my eye is one I’ve seen somewhere before… but where? Owner Scott Cave has been toying with this Bantam roadster for about the past eight years. A little later this morning Scott plans on making a pass with the blown Hemi powered AA/Roadster. There was a day when Roadsters and Altereds (re: coupes and sedans) ran in two different classes and the winners of both classes met each other after winning their respective class. Then that winner would usually go on to race the winner of one of the slower dragster classes for that coveted ‘Middle Eliminator’ trophy.

Ah… but I’m waxing nostalgic here. Everything’s been rolled into one sanitary ‘Super’ class now. And everyone also runs identical E.T.’s. Exciting from a driver’s standpoint? No doubt. Exciting from a spectator’s viewpoint? No way! Matter of fact… if you really want to go way out on a limb… bring someone who’s never been to the drags before… and try to explain to them why the ‘Super’ cars charge off the line, travel about fifty or so feet, all but roll to a stop, then take off again. Now watch for that ‘glazed over’ look in their eyes when you tell them that’s being done “so they don’t run too fast”… cause you can bet they’ll be seeing that same ‘glazed over’ look in YOUR eyes.

Anyway, back to Scott’s roadster. I mentioned Scott’s planning on making a pass a little later this morning, and you probably thought “So?”. Well… this next pass will be the first pass the ‘ol Bantam has made in about forty years! Scott’s not sure exactly when the last time this car traversed (oooh!) the quarter mile was. But he is sure it was sometime back in the Sixties (remember them?). Scott told me the car spent about twenty years in a storage trailer… hanging from the roof!

The roadster abounds with small details like… a square tube frame… quarter elliptic front springs (a standard leaf spring cut in half lengthwise), those way cool Mickey Thompson valve covers, and the tilt on that aluminum fuel tank. And about my comment mentioning I’ve seen this roadster before? It was featured on the show field at the ‘02 Charleston Dragway Reunion / Ed Sarkisian Benefit.

We’ll be watching for it later.

Something on Scott Cave’s Bantam sure is attracting a lot of attention

Almost directly across from Scott’s roadster sits a real gem. Man… you gotta see this one to believe it. The English Brother’s Flip Top Karmann Ghia coupe… that’s right Karmann Ghia! The Ghia’s were produced (by Volkswagen) from 1955 thru ‘74 and except for the updated bumpers on the later models, it’s virtually impossible to tell one year from another. This one was built back in ’66. The one piece body rides on a neat set of boxed ‘33 Chevy frame rails. Hey kids, can you name any BIG racers that got their start on a set of early Chevy frame rails?** Bob English was nice enough to give me a ‘walk around’ review of injected small Chevy powered beauty. The “Gallopin’ Ghia” originally factored into NHRA’s C/Altered class (by virtue of weight to cubic inch ratios) and except for safety updates to the roll cage and the addition of wheelie bars, it appears just like it did… back then. The Ghia is also registered with the Antique Automobile Club Of America in the Antique Race Car Division and has won a First Junior Award. Impressive. Now, check out the detailing on that interior tinwork. Cool.

A forerunner of today’s Funnies?

We came upon John Schreiner’s beautiful AA/GS ‘48 Anglia coupe “Good Vibrations” (there’s also a “Good Vibrations” Funny Car in attendance) just as John fired it up and roared off towards the staging area. So I didn’t get a chance to discuss the car with anyone… the crew followed John in hot pursuit. But I fell in love with that “Bakersfield ‘66 U.S. Fuel and Gas Championship Participant” decal on the right rear window. Gotta be some interesting history here.

And speaking of roaring off to the staging area… we’d better get track side ourselves… most of these N.E.T.O. and MANDRA (not to be confused with NAMBLA) race cars are filling up the staging area, ready to race. It’s still gonna be a while ‘til the Funny Cars make their Grand Entrance

One of the first cars we get to watch make a pass? The earlier mentioned Bantam roadster of Scott Cave. Whoa Scott! Looks like it’s still got a lot of bugs to work out of it… but damn, with about 40 years between passes you’d expect some cobwebs need to blown out of the ol' iron 392 Hemi. It’ll be back (later in the day alternate driver Billy Coleman squeezed a 11.1 @ 139 mph out of it). Rich Misiti then did one hell of a burnout with the “Psycho Therapy” Fiat coupe followed by a fine 8.25 @ 164 mph. This one sounded wicked!

Brian Darcy in the methanol burning small Chevy powered ‘Lethal Injection’ was lookin’ real good backing up after a nice burnout. The ever popular Michele guiding him through the long slow backing up process added to the overall ‘lookin’ good’ effect of the whole process. Yep, lookin’ good, man… looking’ good. Oh yeah, Brian ran a damn respectable front wheel carrying 7.32 @ 183 mph. And hey… don’t let those empty stands in the photo below fool ya. That side of the stands was closed. We got a crowd shot we’re saving for later.

Michele expertly guides Brian Darcy back to the starting line

N.E.T.O. member Charlie Benson was up next in the yellow ‘Bad Boy Race Team’ AA/69 normally aspirated alcohol-burning dragster. A mere 7.45 seconds later Charlie tripped the lights at 178 mph. Charlie and Brian should make for an interesting match up. Next up were two of my favorites. In the left lane we had The English Brothers ‘Gallopin Ghia’ while over in the right lane sat the Hacker family’s S & W built “Revolution” injected Chevy digger. The blue dragster got there first with a 7.85 @168 mph. Next up… Charlie Baesch brought his full size, four speed, 421” Pontiac powered Poncho up from Glen Bernie, MD to play. I’ve got a beautiful poster size photo of Charlie’s GTO doing a huge wheelie at Atco. Now Charlie told me that wheelie was quite an unusual display for the ‘ol Goat… wheelies like that were really quite a rarity. But then, right here in front of all of us Charlie performed an awesome bumper dragger, followed up by an equally impressive 9.92 @ 134 mph. Damn good Charlie! Hey, you don’t suppose ‘ol Charlie was puttin’ me on about those wheelies, do ‘ya? And one more thing while it’s still fresh in my mind… we ran into Art Cimilluca at trackside this morning and he told us he’ll only be wearing two cameras this weekend. “Ya never know.”

OK… enough about dragsters, altereds, doorslammers, and photographers (not that there’s anything wrong with dragsters, altereds, doorslammers, and photographers mind you… hell some of my best friends are shooters) but we all came here for the Cheap Thrills that only the Funny Cars can offer up. And of course the NITRO too. So let’s head back to the pits and see what’s happening.

Wow! How’s this for timing? At precisely 11:45 AM (I keep track of such things you know, should that be cause for concern?) as we’re walking up to where Frank Jonkman had the “NITROMARE” pitted (hey… you do know the “NITROMARE is in fact Larry Fullerton’s old “Trojan Horse” Mustang, don’t you?) … the big Hemi barked to life. Perfect! Frank and crew as usual did the start it on methanol routine, but, in an act of pure kindness, after just a few seconds they switched right over to NITRO… Pop… Juice… or whatever else you prefer to call it. But Man! The sheer delight/rush a hardcore NITRO junkie (like myself) can derive from just standing close to one of these beasties… can’t be put into words. And after a quick look around, it’s easy to see there’s a lot of other distressed individuals out there that share this same sickness. Ah, but there IS strength in numbers you know… call it a ’Group Therapy’ kind of thing. And as my watering eyes are checking out this crowd behind me, I get to witness one of many interesting phenomenons generated by the rapid combustion of nitromethane… the reaction of the gathered when the crew chief gooses the throttle. We’ve all seen it, right? The whole crowd performs a simultaneous ’duck’ while at the same time moving back about six inches. Immediately after regaining their composure,… they each turn to the person next to them… and nod in knowing approval. Strange customs, no?

Frank Jonkman works the controls as crewman Sheldon Shulakowsky takes some readings during Sunday morning’s fire up

As this descendant of Thor falls silent, the normal procedure is usually a cheer of approval from those gathered. Sort of a collective… “Thank you kind Sirs for assaulting our ears with 69 decibels # of thunder while simultaneously torturing our eyes, nose, and throat with searing noxious fumes!” But almost before we’re given this opportunity, Rob Bruce’s, Flint, Michigan based “Zombie” Dodge Charger (parked by no coincidence, right next door) captures everyone’s attention as IT roars to life. In about two seconds, the whole crowd has migrated over. So, again the crowd gathers. Again, the senses are assaulted,. Again, the crowd reacts the same to the blips of the throttle. Again, such are the strange customs of the initiated.

Yes sir… and you’ll find all kinds among ‘the initiated’ too. Take the young lady that’s sitting in the seat between the frame rails of “Zombie” as it threatens all within reach. Pretty Jenny “Nitro Jen” Denski looks right at home there. After an earlier brief conversation, it’s obvious that Jen… just like the rest of us… shares a love for all things NITRO powered. In just a short while from now she’ll be all decked out in her ‘Sunday best’ doing the back up chores out on the track. A tradition started back in the heyday by Jungle Pam and carried on to this day by a few of her minions, such as “Nitro Jen’. Ain’t nothing like pretty women, pretty cars, tire smoke, and NITRO fumes all rolled into the same show. Thank the Lord for drag race women and rock and roll women… the two DO go hand in hand!

‘Nitro Jen’ lost in the moment

Hey… speaking of Rock and Roll. Or at least… jazz-fusion rock with a Latin flavor played to a country beat***. I’ve got the headphones on at the moment and the final few seconds of ‘Third World Man’, the last song on Steely Dan’s last album “Gaucho” (circa 1980) are fading away as I’m typing this. Man, Rick Derringer’s guitar work at the end of the song is haunting! The kind of stuff that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up! You know, I can get the same sensation listening to Duane Allman’s slide work towards the end of “In Memory Of Elizabeth Reed” from the ‘Live At The Fillmore East’ set. Or from Jeff Beck’s unreal sustain on “The Nazz Are Blue” with the Yardbirds. Or… listening to a NITRO car shut down after making a solo pass at Maple Grove (Reading) from a distance of about a half mile from the track on an otherwise quiet afternoon. The echo through the trees lasts damn near as long as the sustain on that Yardbirds number. I got to share that sound with the grandson a year or two ago.

Back to E-Town. While we’re on the subject of NITRO… as we’re returning to the van for a short break we passed by the beautiful black and gold “Hemi Hunter” Rat motored Fuel Dragster. Somehow we’ve managed to miss these guys up until now… didn’t even know they were here. All right! Another NITRO car for today’s show. Speaking of which… in spite of all I’ve heard through the rumor mill for the past few weeks, (some stories true… some not even close) the turnout of cars today is damned impressive. The numbers may be down a little from the last two Reunions. Due possibly in part to a questionable/unreasonable entry fee for the Funny Cars? BUT. the quality is way up! Point of note: the last two Reunions featured a Funny Car Fire-Up out on the track, and from the grandstands, it was cool to watch. But being out in the middle of the Fire-Ups I can report that more than one car never fired… and one or two weren’t even capable of firing up. But, all of this was lost (re: drowned out) by the volume of the other cars that were running. Now don’t get me wrong either… those Fire-Ups were fun! OK, I’m done preaching… for now… but after all, it IS Sunday.

So let‘s see, we’ve got the ‘Hemi Hunter’… the ‘Winged Express’… the ‘Mill Road Boys’… ‘the USA 1‘ Camaro… ‘Nitromare’… and ‘Zombie’, in the NITRO department. Along with an as of yet undetermined number of blown and unblown alcohol and gas burning Funny Cars. Quite a bargain for the more than reasonable 15 American dollars (still the favored currency here in North Jersey) ticket price.

OK… we’re finally taking that short break back at the van, but after hearing a NITRO car warming over the din of all the other activities going on… breaks over! Time to get return to today’s regularly scheduled program. Turns out it was the sound of the ‘Mill Road Boys’ Camaro that had the magnetic effect that drew us back.

Heading towards the Rosetty - Sgro pit areas we pass by Tom Trasin’s setup, with the ‘Jade Grenade’ and the McEwen Corvette Funny Car prominently on display. And just like yesterday the event’s Grad Marshall, Pat Foster, is still mesmerizing fans and racers (both current and retired) alike. Man, if you wanted to rub elbows with the ‘names’ that were here… this was the place to be! Everyone in the whole place dropped by to see Pat!

Incidentally, Rocky Pirrone was kind enough to put up the bucks for Pat to fly in from Kansas. The event organizers needed help getting Pat here and Rocky donated the tickets in memory of his dad Joe Pirrone. Rocky’s attending the Gasser Show up near Buffalo (N.Y.), but we’re hopefully expecting him to show up here later in the day. Heard that Rocky’s been having a lot of ‘car trouble’ lately… and I don’t mean race car trouble. Three different tow vehicles gave it up on the way to the Gasser meet at Thompson, Ohio, and word is he’s broke down right now somewhere between Buffalo and here. Rocky, thanks in advance for bringing the illustrious Mr. Foster here. He was a big hit. And good luck pal… hope you make it here before curfew.

Fans wait in line for an audience with Foster as a few of today’s combatants prepare for battle

We arrive at the Sgro’s pit area at 12:15, just in time to hear the starter whine and the big KB come to life. Lou checks out the engine while Colleen sits at the controls in the car. Ah… another Drag Race/Rock & Roll babe. They do a thorough check of the engine and driveline under the watchful eye of eight time NHRA Alcohol Funny Car World Champ Frank Manzo… who incidentally… DID NOT tune up OR give advise to the Sgro’s for their upcoming first round match up with the Rosetty/Jacono Cuda!

But someone who did lend a helping hand to another racer… Bob Rosetty. Earlier this morning Robert Servis left the line hard in his ‘69 Camaro, only to have all of the studs break on the left rear axle flange. Which caused the left rear tire to prematurely ejaculate from the car. Actually, the tire made it further down track than the Camaro did. But the mishap left Robert with no way to make the long drive back home to Bristol, Pa. Ya see… this Camaro does double duty. Shades of the old days! Mr. Rosetty let Mr. Servis borrow his air grinder and whatever other tools he needed to make the repairs… and Bristol. Racers are like that ‘ya know.

A short while later… The Boopster and I find ourselves back at track side surrounded by some damn fine shooters. Art Cimilluca, Jeff Unfried, Al Liebmann, Mark King, Mike ‘Mashie’ Mihalko to name just the few that I recognized. And get this. I actually think my old pal Mashie trying to bust my chops when I ran into him again, later in the day… something about all of the notes I was taking. Man, he was brutal! But that’s OK dude… I’ll be ready for ‘ya when the 14^th rolls around!

The crowd waiting for the arrival of the first pair of NITRO cars

And at precisely 2:00 p.m., the National Anthem plays right on schedule… followed immediately by the sound of NITRO. Oh boy… here it is… ShowTime! This is the first I’ve been near a pair of genuine NITRO burning cars since last October… although I did watch the ‘Winged Express’ make two exehibitchin’ passes last weekend. But this is different… these two are gonna race… side by side! From under the tower in the left lane comes ‘NITROMARE’ as the ‘Zombie makes it’s pass through the water box in the other lane. Jonkman’s ‘NITROMARE’ passes right by us as he executes an awesome (damn, I hate that word) burnout. All right! NITRO fumes, the smell of burned rubber, the jarring concussion of the sound erupting from the headers… THIS is what we’re all gathered here for!

As the two of them approach the line… I’m ready! They both approach the starting line… light the top bulbs… an after a quick flash of orange… we have green! Boom! Both cars thunder as they leave the line. By the time it’s traveled about 100 feet “Zombie” has gone into some really bad tire shake. Rob has to lift to regain his composure, and probably his bearings. Man, it shook hard! While at the same time over in the other lane, Frank makes an on again, off again, on again pass before he finally gives it up. Neither timing slip was overly impressive… ‘Zombie‘ clocked a 7.58 @ 140 mph, while ‘NITROMARE’ checked in with a 7.94 at a rapidly slowing 113 mph. But… judging by the reaction of the crowd (and the other photogs around us) one would have thought they just ran in the low fours! Damn good show! Just what you would expect from a couple of NITRO Funny Cars.

Up next… Mike Boyd in the Marcellus and Borsch “Winged Express” Fuel Altered. Mike makes a cool, lo-o-o-ng, pretty near 1/8^th mile burnout, and as with the last pair, everyone’s eyes and attention are focused on the unpredictable red and black ‘T’ bucket approaching the starting line. Now bear in mind, no one is expecting this one to travel in a straight line. Hell… we’d probably be disappointed if it did! But… we weren’t, cause it didn’t. An up on two wheels, lift , then on again, sideways now, off again, on again, and that whole routine repeated one more time before the finish line run followed. Again, to quote Mr. Bob Frye… “And the crowd went wild.”

But before anyone had a chance to recover from that last pass, here comes the ‘Hemi Hunter’ smoking’ through the water box, and we’re treated to another right to the 1/8 mile marker burnout. Now this next part of the boys from Bethlehem routine is really different… perhaps the slowest back up from the burnout I’ve ever witnessed! Personally, I was waiting for the car to run out of fuel before it got back to the line ala Arley Langlo. Guess they just wanted to put a lot of heat into the ‘ol Ratmotor. But you know what? They must know what they’re doing… cause it worked. Between Dale Thierer’s skillful handling, and Gary Peter’s tune up, the Peters, Thierer, Rieger, and Lewis fueler laid down a picture perfect, straight as a string 6.09 @ 215.79 !!! Incredible! If I’ve got all of my facts in order, that’s their quickest pass ever. Man! Way to go guys.

While the crowd’s still buzzing about that last run… Bruce Larson in the ‘USA 1’ Camaro makes his burnout. And hey… who’s that backing him up? She sure looks familiar. And she should… it’s the lady that started this whole “let’s make the backing up part as interesting as the racing part” thing back in the ‘Jungle Jim’ Lieberman match racing days. You gotta know by now I mean last year’s Grand Marshall, ‘Jungle’ Pam Hardy herself. And yep… she still looks good out there. Bruce made an interesting, wheel carrying, smoke ‘em if ya got em, 1/8^th mile pass. The sanctioning organizations will only allow Bruce to make half track passes because the roll cage isn’t up to today’s standards. But it IS exactly the way those Logghe Brothers welded it together back in ‘69. And to be perfectly honest… I wouldn’t push such a magnificent museum piece any harder than necessary either… the car’s irreplaceable. You da man, Bruce!

Next up, we’ve got another early Camaro. But this one will pass today’s tech inspections. The Delaware based ‘Mill Road Boys’ ‘72 Camaro is another fuel burner powered by a big Chevy engine… that makes three of them in a row. Driver Steve Nichols made a really strange, short, smokeless burnout. And followed that up with a troubled 6.98 @ 211 mph. Sounded to this untrained ear like it was idling way too high too.

Steve Timoszyk was up next with the Prock & Howell AA/G ‘33 Willys. I’ve heard some refer to it as a Funny Car, but I don’t know. Sure looks like a gasser to me. Steve put down an out of shape, early shutoff ten point something pass. He’ll be back. Local favorite and Division 1 Comp. Eliminator player Jake Crimmins was up next with his TASC Fire Apparatus sponsored Olds Achieva bodied AA/AM… which one would be led to assume means ‘AA Altered Methanol‘. One of these days I’ve just gotta look at the NHRA Rulebook. A tire shaking 6.57 @ 209 were Jake’s numbers.

You want more Funny Cars? Over in the left lane Keith Davidson in the ‘Bit’s and Pieces’ black suede ‘74 Camaro took out Dennis Salzwimmer driving the ‘Rubber City (that’s Akron, Ohio kids) Thunder’ Monza. Dennis red lighted away a 7.91 @ 175 mph to Keith’s slower 8.17 @ 162 mph pass. But, that’s racin’. By the way… the chassis on Keith’s machine was originally ran as Al Bergler’s ’Motown Shaker’.

Pennsylvania‘s own “Army” Armstrong and his burgundy with yellow flames Vega was up next to take on Dave Sano’s beautiful Pontiac Grand Am ‘Total Insanity‘. Both cars did nice burnouts, but as Dave approached the starting line, he attempted a dry hop, only to discover to his shock (and all others gathered at the starting line area) the car was still in reverse. No harm done, but this miscalculation appeared the toss Dave’s whole routine right out the window. Dave’s time on the run was an unimpressive 9.89 @ 107 mph. But over in the other lane Army’s great sounding blown small Chevy motor powered the Vega to a 8.17 @ 162 mph, then developed a bad case of engine smoke right around the finish line. Incidentally, Dave’s skills with a paint gun were seen on the bodies of more than one of the cars in attendance.

Just prior to all of Dave’s shenanigans in the right lane, Geno Terenzio in the Terenzio Brothers car rolled into the start up area, but before the guys got the opportunity to start it up, it was pushed back into the staging lanes… never to be seen or heard from again in this round. Don’t know what happened there. Chuck Exton was up next and executed a great burnout, followed by an equally impressive 7.61 @ 178.61 mph solo pass in the good looking ‘Wild &Crazy’ Dodge Daytona. Jerry ‘Smoker’ Smith was up next with Ken Warren’s ‘New York Twister’ Dodge Challenger… the former Pee Wee Wallace ‘Virginia Twister’… . Jerry put on one hell of a show with a sideways, on again, off again early shut off pass.

While we’re on the subject, what’s coming up next has all of the trimmings of being another “one hell of a show!” Myself, I’ve been looking forward to this match up all weekend. In the closer to us left lane… ‘Joltin’ Joe Jacono in the Bob Rosetty owned ‘Rollin Stoned’ Cuda. While over in the right lane, Lou Sgro’s ‘Black Magic’ Dodge Demon. You could feel the tension in the air getting thicker as both crews made last minute checks before startup. These are two of the most popular and better running teams on the entire East Coast. Myself, I have no personal favorites in this pairing. Let’s just have a good, clean, exciting, and safe race. May the better man (team) win.

As the two completed they’re respective burnouts, and after Bob guided Joe back and Colleen did the same in the other lane, I couldn’t help but notice that all around me had their cameras poised at the ready. This is gonna be good and no one wanted to miss getting ‘that’ shot. Lou did a few great dry hops.

 At the first hint of green, Lou and the ‘Black Magic’ were gone, but Jacono seemed to hesitate somewhat (can you say major hole shot?). But the second ‘ol Joe did hit the throttle, ‘Rollin Stoned’ jumped straight up, slammed back down to earth, then instantly went into a very impressive wheel stand while heading for the right lane. When it returned to earth a second time it was pretty well out of shape. While over in the other lane ‘Black Magic’ just trucked right along. By the time ‘Rollin Stoned’ regained it’s composure and Joe got back into the throttle it appeared that Joe then tried to see if could get the ‘Cuda to jump across the 330’ foot foam ‘cones‘. It didn’t quite make it… but damn it… he tried! While at about the same time, Lou and ‘Black Magic’ have just about cleared the traps… without knocking anything over. Then it happened…

The right lane scoreboard lit up with the following numbers… 6.92 @ 209 mph. That’s right kids, a 6.92 @ 209 !!!!! What an absolutely beautiful pass Lou just put down! To quote Mr. Frye one last time, “And the crowd went wild”. But in spite of the crowds roar of approval, Colleen’s excited shouts could be heard over all of the noise… and they continued as she piloted the golf cart up the return road on her way to tell Lou the good news as he waited at the end of the track. This was their quickest and fastest pass ever… and damn right they have a reason to celebrate. Now I’m gonna stick my neck out here… but… I’m personally not aware of any methanol burning Nostalgia Funny Car ever running this quick or fast. Anyone?

Over in the other lane, Joe had by now given up on this pass… ‘ya know, there’s always next round. Unfortunately, due to the now missing timing cones, Joe and the ‘Rollin Stoned’ were not given any readouts for the run. But I’d bet the Sgro’s timing slip made for some damned interesting reading and by the time you read this… it’s probably been framed! A little later in the afternoon a crewman from another team said to me “ With Sgro running in the sixes now… we’re gonna have to rethink our whole tune up.” Yep.

Now that the smoke has cleared from that pair, it’s time for more smoke… a lot more smoke. Last year’s ‘Best Burnout’ award winner Rick ‘Surf’ Stambaugh is in the left lane and it looks like the ‘New Generation’ team is trying for a repeat. They laid down a great, long, smoky one. As did Indiana’s Tracy Klingerman in the Klingerman Bros. ‘Fuelish’ Monza… another contender for ‘Best Burnout’ honors wherever it competes. We had a short visit with both Matt and sister Robin Stambaugh a little earlier in the day. These two get my vote for the ‘Most Enthusiastic” players hands down. The Stambaugh’s know how to have fun at the races… and it rubs off on ‘ya. As the tree went green ‘Surf’ put a hole shot on the ’Fuelish’ but you could hear the engine going away as it went down track. Klingerman ran a nice clean 7.45 @ 180 mph in the other lane.

Next… it’s time for the naturally aspirated Funnies. Sorry kids, unblown Funnies. Anyway John Kippen chose the left lane with his ‘Maine Event’ Vette, while Bob Barone in the Barone Family’s ‘War Horse’ Mustang took the right side. The ‘Maine Event’ pulled another great wheelie, ‘War Horse’ ran a stout 8.87 @ 146 mph only to suffer both chute and brake failure and wound up clear down at the end of the track in the sand trap. John clicked the ‘Maine Event’ off early. Willie Johnson in the popular ‘No Money-No Funny’ Nova paired off next against Paul Gold in the ‘Good Vibrations’. See, I told ya there were two cars named ‘Good Vibrations’ here today. But his one also happens to be John Force’s (you’ve heard of him ain’t ya) former Wendy’s Corvette, which that ‘48 Anglia definitely ain‘t. I read elsewhere that John Rose Jr. was going to be driving for Paul, but couldn’t verify that. So, whoever was driving the ‘Good Vibrations’ car ran an 8.83 @ 147 mph while Willy and the Nova had his hands full (after a red light start) carrying the front wheels quite a ways before easing out of the throttle and coasting to a 9.64 ET.

Geno Terenzio in the earlier scratched Terenzio Brothers machine was up next to make a licensing pass in the right lane. An on again, off again 6.32 @231.99 mph pass followed. Nice run Geno! Rob Bundy in the ’Shellshock’ Vega was up next for one of his licensing passes. An early shutoff 13 second run resulted.

Checking the time I find that it’s now about straight up 3 PM and the sun has finally came out. Matter of fact, it’s turned into a beautiful day. Earlier, one of the trackside folks and myself were reminiscing about seeing them in concert at the old Fillmore East Ballroom many years ago. ‘It’s A Beautiful Day‘, that is. You remember… “White bird in a golden cage,” and all of that… don’t you? While we’re on the subject of beautiful days… anyone remember that weather forecast from earlier today? Quote: “And you folks along the New Jersey coast might as well stay inside today. By three this afternoon the whole day will be a washout.” end of quote. Wow. Those Weather Channel guys report the wrong stuff more often than I do! Only they’re getting paid!!

Time to go check back in at headquarters. Might be interesting… the Sgro crew has cornered the market on bragging rights… and Jacono’s gonna be needing some cheering up. But the ‘Black Magic’ crew aren’t planning on resting on their laurels. They’re throwing a whole new tune up at that KB… and this time maybe with a little ‘outside help’.

Over at the Rosetty pit area it appears as though the ‘Rollin Stoned’ Cuda is just about all buttoned up and ready to rock. And as far as Joe needing cheering up…nope… he’s up and ready for this next match too. Said they’ve been “saving the best for last.” After helping ourselves to some more of their burgers and Gatorade I guess we’re through here, so it’s time to go wander through the pits and spread some rumors and tell some lies.

A visit with the Stambaughs revealed they won’t be making any more passes today. Those bent valves, remember? Didn’t do much damage to the engine besides the damaged valves (lucky), but there won’t be time to make the necessary repairs today (not so lucky). But, look for them to be back with a new set of heads. Heard one of the NITRO cars warming up, but we’re too far away to get close before it shut down. Damn.

Hey, I know. Let’s go sit by the van until the next round starts. So that’s what we did. It’s really turned into a nice Sunday afternoon. After breaking out the folding chairs and opening up a cold one, it’s time to kick back for a while. Kinda like an afternoon at the beach… without the girls in those thongs and skimpy bikinis. Hey, just how far is the beach anyway? The Boopster wakes me from my daydream to point out the staging area is rapidly filling up again. At least one of us is paying attention.

So at precisely 5 PM we’re back track side and the drama’s starting all over again. ‘NITROMARE’ and ‘Zombie’ have changed lanes since the last pairing … so have I, I’m reporting from the right side of the track now. More than you really wanted to know, right? Anyway, everyone’s senses are again assaulted by thunder and fury of these machines as they complete their burnouts. Zombie again damn near reaching the 1/8^th mile marker… looks like ‘Nitro Jen’ is getting plenty of exercise this afternoon. On the green, over in the left lane NITROMARE does a rather impressive wheelie and then proceeds to fishtail down track while Zombie appears to be on a good pass until the blower belt unceremoniously exits about mid track. So score a 7.32 @155 mph in the left lane and a 8.33 @105 in the right.

The ‘Mill Road Boys’ are up next and Steve Nichols encountered some problems but still managed to squeeze a 7.50 @ 192.69 out of the big yellow Camaro. Mr. Larson and the red, white, and blue ’USA 1’ Camaro were up next. After the burnout Bruce was backing up without the aid of Jungle Pam. Now this crewman aiding the backing didn’t seem have anywhere near the appearance, appeal, charm, or legs like Pam, but nonetheless he got the job done. Just wasn’t the same though… know what I mean? But Bruce sure laid down an interesting pass, carrying the front wheels about 100 feet, then getting into a bit of tire smoke, and also managed to get a little sideways, lift, and get squared away again… all before the 1/8^th mile marker!

After another long smoky burnout… and another long slow backup the ’Hemi Hunter’ staged, and I gotta tell ya, that big Chevy motor sounded exceptionally crisp! And it sounded the same all the way down track to the tune of 6.18 @ 209.26 mph. These guys are to be congratulated on those two damn fine, straight as a string, smokeless, trouble free passes. We’ve got some contenders here.

Now this is where my notes start getting a little weird. I show the Prock and Howell Willys up next… but no speed or elapsed time. And it gets weirder. Next I show the ‘Main Event’ possibly pairing off with Willie Johnson’s ‘No Money - No Funny’, but my notes read… “Main Event ? No Money, on again off again 9.52 @ 142 mph, No Funny.” Sounds like John Kippen maybe did something questionable, while Mr. Johnson possibly did something that wasn’t funny. I don’t know. Think I’ve been standing out here too long without a helmet… or sun blocker?

Next up is a rematch of the earlier ‘Black Magic’ vs. ‘Rollin Stoned’ Mopars with the cars switching lanes this time… right to left as opposed to the earlier left to right. With the Sgro’s in the left lane and Jacono/Rosetty in the right. Got it? Makes perfect sense to me. NOTE: I’m doing this right lane, left lane stuff to see if your still paying attention (or awake). This is turning into a rather long and rambling story, isn’t it? But you see, I’ve got nothing else to do!